Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Makeup Monday (Err, Tuesday)

When Maria asked via Twitter if anyone wanted to participate in #MakeupMonday during the month of May, I knew immediately that I'd want to participate. It would give me the perfect excuse to actually put some effort into my appearance; something that I've found easy to let slide ever since becoming a stay-at-home-mom.

For the first Monday, I went all out and did a full-face of makeup, including false eyelashes. Before having Aiden, I loved to put on falsh lashes, but I hadn't done it once since he was born.

Products Used:
1. Yes To Tomatoes Daily Moisturizing Lotion (this is great for use with foundation)
2. Revlon Colorstay Foundation in Combo/Oily, I mixed it with...
3. Marcelle BB Cream Golden Glow - a Birchbox sample
4. Dermablend Concealer - another Birchbox sample, I love this stuff.
5. Clinique Airbrush concealer
6. Wet 'N' Wild Eye Palette in Nude Awakening
7. Urban Decay Primer Potion - a must have for my hooded lids
8. Physicians Formula Eyeliner
9. Ardell Wispies False Lashes
(Not Pictured)
10. Milani Baked Blush in Corallina
11. Revlon Lip Butter in Wild Watermelon
12. NYC Bronzer in Sunny


This picture motivated me to go in and groom my eyebrows (eek); and my participation has encouraged me to keep up with maintaining my appearance. It might seem vain, but it has really been a bit of a morale booster for me. And I need all of the boosting I can get.

Monday, May 20, 2013

The Day That Changed Our Lives Forever

Scene: May 20, 2012. Zac and I were walking to our car on a Sunday evening after a long day at work.

"Well, should we go get a pregnancy test?"

"I guess."

"I'm sure it'll be negative. They always are. I'm hungry. Let's go to Walmart where we can get Subway and a test and get home quickly. I have to pee, but I want to hold it until I take the test."

"All right."
In the car on the way home from Walmart

"I don't know, I feel like I might actually be pregnant. I just have a feeling. Ahh, nah. I'm sure it's nothing... Drive faster, I really have to go!"

"Do you want me to wait while you take the test?"

"Nah. You're hungry! I'm sure it's nothing."
 At the table where Zac is eating

With tears in my eyes, I nod my head.

With a mouth full of Subway and wide eyes, Zac stands up and muffles, "You're pregnant?!" But it really sounded like "yrrfffhhh prrrrggffftnnnt?!"

"You're going to remember this sandwich forever."

Exactly one year ago, we found out that our lives would be forever changed. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was scared, nervous, excited, overwhelmed, and happy all at once. At roughly 5 weeks pregnant, I knew that if there were no complications, the pregnancy would fly by. That was what kind of freaked me out, that the baby would be there before we knew it. How right I was. 

Now, our little boy is just one day shy of being 4 months old. Some days I still can't believe it. But mostly, I don't know how we ever lived without him.

I wrote more about that day here.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Sunshine On My Shoulders

There's just something about the Pacific Northwest when the sky is blue, the birds are chirping, and the warmth of the sun hits your body. It's pretty much ALL people can talk, or think about.

When I was almost 9, my family moved to the Seattle area from Southern California. I didn't handle it well at all, and that was when my history of depression really began. Mostly, because of the lack of sunshine. People who aren't sun-starved probably think it's a load of bull, but once you experience it, you'll go, "OH." I've been plagued with SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) for, wow, 21 years. (I just realized that we moved on this very date - May 4th.) 

For some reason, this past winter wasn't as bad for me as it usually is. Maybe it was because I was pregnant, or maybe I'm just getting over it, ever-so-slowly. But it doesn't mean that I get any less excited for impending sunshine and warmth.

I've been seriously dancing in anticipation of this week's weather (70-80 degree temperatures for DAYS & DAYS & DAYS). It just makes my soul feel good. It's getting me excited for summer, when I'll introduce my little guy to swimming, and I can only hope it brings him as much joy as it does to me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to head back outside to soak up this gorgeous day.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Beautiful Boy

I got as far as entering the title to this post before Zac called out to me, "I think he's hungry again." 

That's pretty much my life now, as a stay-at-home-mom. Breastfeeding the baby, changing his diapers, and trying desperately to get him to sleep. It's been a rough 8 days (honestly, 11). Aiden headed into a full-on sleep regression coupled with another growth spurt, which peaked on Monday.

I got really spoiled at around 7 weeks, when he started to sleep for longer stretches. Once he hit 9 weeks, he was sleeping an average of 8 hours straight. I started to feel human again; and, silly me, I thought that would be our new life for a while. Try a month. On Monday, it almost started to feel like we were back in the newborn stage. Yes, these regressions and spurts are fleeting, but when you're in the thick of it, and all you can think about is the next time you get to collapse into bed, it's hard to keep that perspective.

It's funny, though. Because, it all just makes me fall more in love with him. His helplessness, the way he fits into the curve of my chest after I've nursed him for another half-hour, his full-faced smile as he wakes from yet another 10-minute nap. Sure, I'll audibly sigh "UUUUUGGGHHHHH, just go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep," when I'm trying to catch a nap for myself. But when he does really fall asleep for the night? I miss him.

I just said this to Zac the other night. That I spend all day trying to get Aiden to sleep, counting down the hours and minutes until Zac gets home, so he can take over for a bit, and/or put Aiden to bed. But then when he finally crashes, it's like something is missing. It's like a phantom limb. He belongs in my arms.

While feeding Aiden yesterday, I caught an episode of "The New Normal" on demand. During a birth montage played a song that I'd (surprisingly, as I consider myself somewhat of a music aficionado) never heard before. It was "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon. I assumed it was The Beatles, but I Shazamed that shit, and was proven otherwise. Immediately, I listened to it on YouTube, and fought back tears.

I thought it would be the perfect time to try out this Pinterest cheat, because I knew I'd found the song that I will play as a part of his bedtime routine. (By the way, that "cheat" works awesomely.)  

I tested it out on my iPhone last night as I bounced him to sleep, and boom, just like that, the tears began to fall. It feels like the postpartum hormones are never going to cease, because sometimes my heart just swells with so much love, it pours out of my eyes. 

Darling, darling, darling, darling Aiden.

photo courtesy of Heather Schwenk Photography