Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Monday, December 16, 2013

How To Lose 10 Pounds In A Week

(TL;DR - I had a my gallbladder removed, complications, another surgery to remove stones and put in a stent, had another surgery to remove stent. As of now, life is good.)

When I wrote this post I had no idea that I'd endure 5 more months of unnecessary pain, and occasional suffering. Turns out, I had gallstones that ultimately caused a severely infected gallbladder because it went undiagnosed for 9 months. NINE.

Apparently, pregnancy can cause gallstones. Who knew? Certainly not me. And I suspect that neither did the young ER doctors (residents?) I saw at 3-weeks-postpartum who ran a couple of tests and sent me on my way with a diagnosis of muscle spasms.

This hospital room (and one other) was my view for nearly a week at the end of October and early November.

On the 26th of October, I had a serious gallbladder attack that I thought was muscle spasms. I hadn't had an episode that bad since around April. I was writhing in pain, throwing up, and trying not to freak out. Ultimately, with Zac's help, I rode it out and was able to fall asleep. My mom came the next day to stay with us so she could help me with Aiden, since my back was shot. This time was a little different than the other attacks, because I never really recovered, even after a few days had passed. My back never felt better, and I was essentially bedridden until my next attack.

After Zac got home from work on Tuesday the 29th, I was feeling worse and had an eerie sensation that I was about to have more spasms. I rolled over in bed to try getting comfortable, and here came the pain. In a matter of 20 minutes, I was literally screaming and moaning in pain, throwing up, and trying to figure out what to do. It was far and away the worst pain of my life. I'd made a doctor's appointment for the upcoming Thursday, but we both decided that I needed to go to the emergency room instead of waiting it out like the other times.

The ride to the ER was horrible, as the slighest movement caused me to feel worse. After waiting for a room for what seemed an eternity, I was finally able to see a doctor. Thankfully, after a few hours my pain subsided as they treated me. Thank God the doctor thought to order an ultrasound, because it revealed the cause of my tough postpartum life: gallstones, and an infected gallbladder. He said it was good that I hadn't waited even another day because it was so bad. He told me I'd need emergency surgery, and all I could think about was that I hadn't shaved my legs in days. Shit.

I was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital and had my gallbladder out a few hours later at 2am. I apologized to everyone, from nurses to doctors, about my hairy legs, and they just laughed. My surgeon smiled and said "that's the least of our worries."

They let me go home on Halloween, but it didn't feel quite right. My liver enzymes were really elevated, but they had gone down since I was first admitted, so they would just do another draw at my follow-up appointment.

I was focusing on not throwing up the whole drive home. I spent the next few days feeling absolutely miserable: vertigo, nausea, couldn't eat, couldn't drink, couldn't get out of bed. I was unable to spend much time with Aiden, and I was barely able to breastfeed him. I was worried that my breastfeeding journey was about to come to an abrupt end, and it broke my heart. I called the nurse hotline a few times to make sure my symptoms were normal, and one even suggested that I visit the ER again (it was a Sunday), but I wanted to wait until my appointment the next day.

I met with my doctor, gave some blood, and was actually starting to feel a bit better. They had to send out the blood for testing because their labs were down that day. At 10pm, the phone rang, and it's the doctor saying I need to go back to the hospital. My liver enzymes shot back up, but at least I could wait to go in until the next morning. I started to shiver from being nervous.

Okay, honestly, I'm getting tired of writing this novel, so I'm gonna try and summarize from here on out. I got to the hospital, it took 4 different people to get an IV in my arm because I was so dehydrated. They didn't let me eat or drink for 3 days. I had an MRCP, 3 HIDA Scans, and then an ERCP to remove remaining gallstones and they had to put in a temporary stent from having been so infected. I wasn't able to see Aiden that whole time (didn't want to expose him to hospital germs), and I missed him terribly. When I got home, I cried as soon as I saw him.

Temporary stents are removed within 4-6, and mine was taken out last Thursday. I was slightly nervous, considering nothing about my whole situation has been a normal case or gone as planned. But other than dizziness and fatigue, I feel great! I was pretty shocked at how good I felt afterward, and I was even able to eat a celebratory steak dinner.

I'll have another blood draw this week to make sure my liver enzymes are at normal levels, and if that goes well, this whole nightmare should be a thing of the past. Considering how good I'm feeling, I'm very hopeful that I'll get good news.

I'm ready for this to be all but a distant memory.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Us

Ten years ago today was the beginning of our happily ever after. As we sat in darkness along the Myrtle Edwards waterfront, you asked if you could put your arm around me. It was our first date, and I couldn't believe it was actually happening. We'd spent hours along this stretch of Seattle- talking, wandering.

As we walked back to your car, 5 hours after the start of our evening, you reached out and held my hand. You still do this, and it makes me just as happy as it did that night. I've always thought my hand nestles perfectly into yours.

Our goodnight hug lasted for 30 minutes, but felt like 1. I kept looking up at you, studying your face, thinking you might kiss me. But you didn't.  I had butterflies.

It felt right. It was the first day of us.

***

3 years ago today, it was set in stone. We were now man and wife. There wasn't a single ounce of uncertainty in my body. I was sure. I was ready. We were ready. This was it.


After all of our hardships, our fights, our "breaks," it was now forever.

***

Today, we have a nearly-5-month-old son. He's our whole world. You're an incredible father. Watching the two of you together absolutely melts my heart.



Sure, there are days when you get on my last nerve. One of your favorite pastimes is annoying me. But, I'm proud to call you my husband. My very best friend. The love of my life.

Each and every day you prove to me that I made the right decision: choosing us.

Monday, June 3, 2013

And Then It Hit Me

With each passing day, the more it sinks in that this is our reality now. He's here to stay, and I'm in charge of him. He depends on me

Being a parent is hard, y'all.

Toward the end of my pregnancy, everyone was all up in my face about "Is he here yet?! Aren't you excited?! Are you in labor yet? Aren't you ready for him to be here?! Are you in labor? Why aren't you more excited?" It took a lot of energy not to tell people to STEP OFF.

Truth be told, out of everyone, I was the MOST okay with him chillin' inside me for a little while longer. I was scared shitless to actually *have* him, but I also knew that a big change was coming. Sure, you never know what it's like until you're actually in the thick of it, but I knew whatever it was, it wouldn't be easy.

Let me be clear; I LOVE LOVE LOVE this little boy. So much. His smile could melt the hardest of hearts. But every time he's crying in the middle of the night, it gets a liiiiiittle bit harder for me to muster the energy to fling myself out of bed. I'm just so tired.

Around 9-weeks-old, he started "sleeping through the night," which meant WE slept through the night, and I thought our sleep situation would be sunshine and rainbows for a while. SILLY STEPHANIE. Try a month, tops. Schedule readjustments (him needing an earlier bedtime) sprinkled with some growth spurts meant REGRESSION, and back to waking up 1-3 times every night. One of my biggest challenges with this right now is that for some reason my brain keeps going a mile a minute, even if I'm dead tired. I'm losing precious minutes of sleep just because I simply can't stop thinking.

Aiden's only 4.5-ish months old, but sometimes I can't help but feel like I'm already failing. There are days when I'm just so run-down that I feel like I'm not being a good mother, or a good wife- I didn't hold him enough, talk to him enough, didn't do those dishes, left him too long in the activity gym, dinner isn't ready, tried to get him to sleep more than he might need because I need to sleep. That last one makes me feel like a jerk. 

Ultimately, I think I really need to force myself to go to bed earlier, and get out of the house more. I'm sure I'm not doing myself any favors by staying in the house a lot of the time. We need a change of scenery. It'd be good for both of us. It has to be.

Monday, May 20, 2013

The Day That Changed Our Lives Forever

Scene: May 20, 2012. Zac and I were walking to our car on a Sunday evening after a long day at work.

"Well, should we go get a pregnancy test?"

"I guess."

"I'm sure it'll be negative. They always are. I'm hungry. Let's go to Walmart where we can get Subway and a test and get home quickly. I have to pee, but I want to hold it until I take the test."

"All right."
----------------
In the car on the way home from Walmart

"I don't know, I feel like I might actually be pregnant. I just have a feeling. Ahh, nah. I'm sure it's nothing... Drive faster, I really have to go!"
----------------
Home

"Do you want me to wait while you take the test?"

"Nah. You're hungry! I'm sure it's nothing."
 ---------------
 At the table where Zac is eating

With tears in my eyes, I nod my head.

With a mouth full of Subway and wide eyes, Zac stands up and muffles, "You're pregnant?!" But it really sounded like "yrrfffhhh prrrrggffftnnnt?!"

"You're going to remember this sandwich forever."
 ---------------------

Exactly one year ago, we found out that our lives would be forever changed. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was scared, nervous, excited, overwhelmed, and happy all at once. At roughly 5 weeks pregnant, I knew that if there were no complications, the pregnancy would fly by. That was what kind of freaked me out, that the baby would be there before we knew it. How right I was. 

Now, our little boy is just one day shy of being 4 months old. Some days I still can't believe it. But mostly, I don't know how we ever lived without him.
-----------------------

I wrote more about that day here.


Thursday, May 10, 2012

Thankful Thursdays: 1

In the spirit of being more appreciative, I've decided to create a series called "Thankful Thursdays." Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of what IS going right, what IS good in our lives - so these can be little reminders to myself that I'm pretty damn lucky.


1. My Husband: I truly married my best friend, and I couldn't be happier. He is my strength, my shoulder to cry on, my source of laughter, and of course, occasional frustration. He cooks, he cleans, he does his own laundry (and sometimes mine!), and he gets up in the morning to walk the dog so I can get more sleep. I mean, COME ON. I won the marriage lottery.



2. My Doggie: We are absolutely smitten with this dog. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but sometimes I used to cry while browsing petfinder.com for dogs that I couldn't adopt. I wanted a dog so badly, but couldn't have one in a rental. Once we bought our house, I wanted to get one as soon as possible. We finally adopted Parker in September 2010, and we love him more and more each day. He's our best pal.



3. The Weather This Week: If we forget yesterday (it was cold, mixed with some sprinkles), the PNW is having a really nice stretch of great weather. It's supposed to start warming up again today, with temperatures reaching near 80(!) degrees over the weekend. I absolutely adore the summers here- you know, when it's actually sunny and warm. Can't get enough.

4. HomeGoods is Coming to Town!: I didn't know about HomeGoods until I started reading design and decor blogs during the last couple of years. With each find and crazy deal that I saw, the more jealous I became over the fact that the nearest store was over 3 1/2 hours away. Then, about 6 months ago, I started seeing commercials for them. It drove me NUTS, because I knew there were no stores anywhere close to the market in which they were advertising. It was like they WANTED to torture me.

The other night, after seeing the millionth commercial, I decided to look up their Portland, OR location. Hey, I've never been to Portland, and this would be a good excuse. Yes, I'm weird.

Well lo and behold, there were 2 listings for HomeGoods stores IN MY AREA. I gasped. I fist-pumped the air.  And I did some quick research. I learned that both locations (Lynnwood & Federal Way) will be opening on June 24th. MY BIRTHDAY. The day that my No Shopping Challenge ends. IT IS FATE. The Federal Way store is only about 25 minutes from my house. FATE, I tell ya! I am way too excited for this. Is it bad that I'm considering taking the day off from work for this? *shifty eyes*
___________________________________________

I'm really glad I'll be doing this each week. I had a rather emotionally draining week at work, and sadly, that is often the case. My days off are Thursdays and Fridays, so it will be refreshing to start each weekend focusing on things that bring me joy.